I.T. to Teacher

I finally subbed for the first time!

I got to the school at 7:30am and found my mother-in-law (for whom I was teaching 3 periods while she was on a field trip) who showed me her Biology classroom and the classroom of the Health teacher I was subbing 2 periods for. Afterwards, we went to the office and she introduced me to the person in charge of subs where I got the info I needed for Health class (I already had my info for Bio).

1st Period: Biology - I handed out the tests and answer sheets, told them not to write on the tests, and let them get to work. Very quickly they discover that one of the questions has them labeling a picture that isn't there. This could be a problem. I end up telling them to do the best they can to show their teacher that they know the answer, and that I'd be sure to tell their teacher about this. After a couple of them come up to me with this problem I make a general announcement to the class about the problem and what to do about it. Even after this announcement I bet over half of the kids came up to me informing me of the problem and asking what to do about it. (How many times do you need to answer a question you have already told everyone the answer to? One more time.) I start getting tests turned in and see that some of them have written on the tests. Ugh, I need to make these last all day so I erase the ones that were written on in pencil and put them back in circulation. (How many times do you need to tell freshmen not to write on the tests? One more time.) I also see that some of them didn't write their test number next to their name as I had instructed them to do. (Ok, let's generalize... How many times do you need to tell freshmen anything? One more time.) The period ended, I straightened up the tests and answers, put them in a drawer, and headed to Health on a different floor.

2nd Period: Health - Jeez, those five minute passing periods seemed a lot longer when I was in high school. I get to the room just after the bell rings and find everyone waiting outside. The door is locked. I was told it would be unlocked by the time I got there. A nearby teacher was nice enough to unlock it for me. We get inside and there are no markers to write their assignment on the board with. All the drawers and cabinets are locked. Real helpful. I tell the roomful of seniors to write down the assignment as I tell it to them. It's just some questions out of the book. I was told the books are communal, and the students know which cabinet they are in. Of course, that is locked too. Great. I walk down to the office and ask them if I was left any keys. Nope, but they'll send someone up to unlock the cabinet for me. I hurry back up to the classroom hoping it hasn't been destroyed or that another teacher is there complaining about rowdy kids (I remember being a senior, and I remember being in health... not a good combination), but everything is fine.

Everything gets unlocked and the kids get their books... and blowpops. Some genius decided to put an open box of blowpops next to the textbooks. So now they all have blowpops. The assignment that was given only took the kids about 15 minutes to do so it's basically a study hall class. That's fine. I just make sure they're not too loud, and they do whatever they want. Works for everyone.

5th Period: Health - Back to Health. During the 2 period break I got a marker from the Bio room and wrote the assignment on the board. They got their books and blowpops and sort-of worked on the assignment. This group was smart enough to ask ahead of time if I was going to be collecting the assignment. When I said I wasn't they knew it was pretty much just a ruse to occupy their time. On to lunchtime.

Lunch - I also am subbing for lunch duty which basically means I eat in the cafeteria with a couple of other teachers and make sure nothing bad happens. I end up eating with two teachers who taught my wife when she was in high school.

6th Period: Biology - This is my second period giving the Bio test so I amend my intro to the test to include everything we learned with the first group. I may as well have passed the test out and not said anything because they still asked the same questions and still wrote on the tests. As I'm getting the tests back and seeing how many were written on I was starting to get a little concerned because I had fewer clean tests than students in the next period. I start thinking of how they could share test papers or how I could find time to make a few photocopies during the lightning fast passing period.

7th Period: Biology - Whew! Two students are absent so I have enough clean tests. Again with the intro speech. Again with the questions. Fewer of this group wrote on their tests. Perhaps it's because it doesn't matter at this point since this is the last class. Perhaps it's because I harped on them to not write on the tests (which they of course followed up with questions about which papers they could and couldn't write on). Probably the former. Everyone finishes and it's time to go home.

Lessons Learned

• Freshmen do not listen; even when they're looking at you while you're talking.
• Freshmen have no short term memory.
• Make sure doors and cabinets are unlocked.
• Passing periods are shorter than you expect.
• Fluid management is important. Drink too much at lunch and you'll be uncomfortable later.
• High school guys emulate Ashton Kutcher and Napoleon Dynamite in the hair department. I don't know why.