Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Teacher Diet
I've found the weight loss secret of the Ages. Can you keep a secret? Good.
Become a teacher.
You probably don't believe me based on some teachers you've seen, but it's true! For just $19.95 you can get in on the ground floor of this amazing opportunity! You, too, can fly to Houston, pay me to let you work in an actual classroom, and watch the pounds melt away. I've lost 15 pounds since I started teaching; 10 of them in the first month! Other teachers will tell you that they've gained weight since they started teaching, but they're just trying to keep this incredible secret for themselves!
The trick is to place tiny classified ads... I mean, uh, the trick is a combination of stress, long hours, limited snacking potential, exactly 30 minutes for lunch, and spending the day on your feet. In no time you'll see the fat melt away!
Call now! Voice mail is standing by because I should be grading labs and writing a test!
Become a teacher.
You probably don't believe me based on some teachers you've seen, but it's true! For just $19.95 you can get in on the ground floor of this amazing opportunity! You, too, can fly to Houston, pay me to let you work in an actual classroom, and watch the pounds melt away. I've lost 15 pounds since I started teaching; 10 of them in the first month! Other teachers will tell you that they've gained weight since they started teaching, but they're just trying to keep this incredible secret for themselves!
The trick is to place tiny classified ads... I mean, uh, the trick is a combination of stress, long hours, limited snacking potential, exactly 30 minutes for lunch, and spending the day on your feet. In no time you'll see the fat melt away!
Call now! Voice mail is standing by because I should be grading labs and writing a test!
Comments:
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Teachers are also dorks when they eat out on the weekends. Trained by my 26 minute lunch, I can rudely inhale my food right in front of my dinner guests.
That's nice for you. But, here's your post 7 years from now, after the teaching thing is getting old...
"Argh, I've gained 23 pounds this term... why do I keep hiding Twinkies in my desk? I think I have a problem. Maybe I should go back standing while teaching, instead of just lying on my desk reciting Newton's Law. And, it would probably be a good idea to stop drinking my lunch everyday... that might help."
"Argh, I've gained 23 pounds this term... why do I keep hiding Twinkies in my desk? I think I have a problem. Maybe I should go back standing while teaching, instead of just lying on my desk reciting Newton's Law. And, it would probably be a good idea to stop drinking my lunch everyday... that might help."
# posted by 
: 8:30 AM, December 08, 2006
: 8:30 AM, December 08, 2006
Dave
Where are you? I miss following your journey from I.T. to Teacher. We're missing out on so much Please post Pronto!
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Where are you? I miss following your journey from I.T. to Teacher. We're missing out on so much Please post Pronto!
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