I.T. to Teacher

When I inquired as to why she wasn't working on her lab...
"She made me do it, Mr .... Peer pressure, it works!"

This one was with a freshman study hall student and I:
Student: What is incest?
Me: Uhhhh.... (eek!)
S: It's on my homework.
Me: Let me see the question. (This ought to be good)
S: Is it doing something that you don't want to do?
Me: Yes, but not specifically. (Trying to come up with something here)
S: Is it rape?
Me: It can be, but that's not the definition. (Dang, they just took my dictionaries away, too)
S: ...
Me: It's like when a dad has sex with his daughter. The whole family kind of thing. (Just what I was trying to work my way around)
S: Oh. (I don't think he saw that one coming)

Two girls are working on a lab. One turns to the other and says:
1: How do you say "oyster"? (saying it correctly, by the way)
2: Oyster? (Saying it the same way)
1: Oyster.
2: Oyster. (Answering the original question)
1: Is that right?
2: Yes?
1: That's what I told them. (and turns back to their lab)