I.T. to Teacher

I'm done with teacher testing! I took my PPR test (aka. the don't-hit-kids test, the politically correct test, the no-connection-to-teaching test) this week. It's a 5 hour test that took me about 1:15 to take. I found out I got a 91% on it. Woo Hoo! No more teacher tests!

This is particularly timely since a local news station has been running a series of stories about how teachers sometimes have a hard time passing their certification tests. By "a hard time" they are referring to teachers and principles who have taken the test unsuccessfully anywhere between 20 and 40 times! As a part of this report they posted the scores of all Texas teachers online (it's public information, they just made it easy to find). This has led to a new pastime of looking up your teacher's scores. It also led to a lunchtime in the office of looking up other teachers scores. Ah,

Got this one from study hall.

Student 1: Hey Mr. ..., is Amsterdam in Germany?
Me: No.
Know-it-all Student: Dude, Amsterdam isn't in Germany. It's in Europe!

This one's for you, Amy.

Girl 1: So, I was talking to this guy, and it was totally awkward! Not, like, awkward awkward; just really awkward.
Girl 2: I know!

At least she knows, I sure don't.

A female student of mine arrived at school late, arriving during my class. The tardy slip said she had been pulled over. At the end of class I asked her what happened...

Girl: I got a ticket for running a stop sign!
Me: Well, did you run it?
Girl: I was driving through a neighborhood on the way to school and I got pulled over by a constable!
Me: You say that with such derision.
Girl: Yes! It was a woman cop!
Me: Ah, you can't get out of that one.
Girl: Exactly! My Dad is going to kill me!
Me: A stop sign ticket isn't so bad. Speeding is worse. Others are worse than that.
Girl's Friend: Yeah, like the time you were speeding in a school zone.
Me: Yeah, that's a bad one.
Girl: I was in an unfamiliar neighborhood. I didn't know there was a school zone!
Me: You'd think they'd put up signs or something.
Girl: I know! ... Hey!

What a strange day.

The morning was pretty normal. We had our last day of TAKS testing (yay!) which was over by lunchtime. During lunch the fire alarm starts going off. Normally we just groan and go outside, but today was a little different.

Yesterday, we got an email from the principal cautioning us to be extra careful today for several reasons. Today is Hitler's birthday, the Columbine anniversary, a couple of days after the VT incident, and it's 4/20. The date is significant because teens think it's "Pot Day" due to the mistaken belief that 420 is the Penal Code for Marijuana possession.

Aaaaanyway, some of the teachers were a little freaked out about having to go outside for the fire alarm because that would be the perfect opportunity for someone to mow down a large group of people. Really, they were worried about that just because it's today. Well, since you haven't seen anything on the news about it you know that everything was normal.

At the end of the day, right before the last bell rang, the principal came on the speaker system and made an announcement. She announced that the students did very well during this week of testing, and the teachers had all worked very hard so the students should leave campus as quickly as possible so the teachers can go home at 3. She added that students should not use the central stairwell that goes through the cafeteria because an even was being set up in the cafeteria. I thought this was a very polite way of telling the students, "Get the hell out of here so we can go home!" I commented on this to a fellow teacher who told me there was another reason for the announcement. Apparently, there were rumors that someone was going to shoot up the cafeteria after school. Students and teachers were a bit freaked out about it. Again, nothing happened.

I'm glad this week is over.

Have you ever wondered why large companies like Coke or AT&T produce advertisements for their brand, not even hyping a specific product? I have. After all, everyone has heard of Coke and Nike so why advertise their existence. Well, now I know.

At lunch, our department was talking about difficulties we have had in getting references from past employers when getting a new job. Part of the conversation went like this.

Teacher A: I had trouble getting references from my most recent job because the offices moved right after I left. It was tough because you can't exactly go to the website for GE and get a phone number to call.
Teacher B: What does GE stand for?
Teacher A: Uhhh, General Electric.
(general chuckling)
Teacher B: Oh, I didn't know you worked for an electric company.
(general laughter)
Teacher A: It's GE. (pause for recognition, none comes) They make… everything. Light bulbs, appliances, (still no recognition), aircraft engines…. I worked in the division that makes medical imaging equipment. (still nothing) They make everything.
Teacher C: They bring good things to life!

I regularly play Ultimate Frisbee after school with a group of students.  Last week there were a number of football players I didn't know who showed up.  While we were warming up and picking teams I heard one say, "Hey, who's that kid over there."  This was followed by the response, "Dude, he's a teacher."

This came at an appropriate time.  At lunch that day, our 23 year old Bio teacher was lamenting the fact that she was starting to look old.  Her reason for thinking this was that she doesn't get mistaken for a student anymore.

She's going to love this.

Alyssa commented about my MySpace post, and I want to respond, but since it's down the page a bit I figured I'd bring it to the top like this.

I respect the fact that you have an opinion to a certain site. Yes, it is true us teens love to express ourselves and we love to flaunt what we have to the world on the internet. I myself love the internet in general, no matter what site I am on. To me, it's all about the closests friends and family. And no doubt the 'in crowds' and the 'cool group' is what teens are into right now, not all of them are. including me...

~Alyssa; Michigan, USA; 14 yrs. old

Thanks for commenting, Alyssa. I don't often respond to comments, but you brought some things to mind, and I want to address them.

I have no problem with people doing the trendy thing. Heck, look at me, I'm blogging. Now, being trendy for the sake of being trendy, that's another story for another time.

MySpace, like Geocities, has it's place in the internet spectrum. It is a place for people to stretch their wings and start figuring out what they can do with this thing they call the internet. Not everyone is going to be able to write good web pages. I did for a while, but those days are long gone (and good riddance to them). Now, like many people, I use a common tool for my place on the internet because now I'd rather have easier than better. If you browse random blogs here on Blogger you'll see many that look the same (there's only so many templates to choose from), and many that sound the same (blah blah blah). I try to set myself apart from the crowd by having a blog with a purpose and scintillating content, not just a place to post which movie I saw this weekend. Like you, my target audience is my friends and family. Visitors like you are just a bonus.

The thing that surprised me about MySpace is that as much as my students talk about it, and as popular as it is, there seems to be very little effort or thought put into most of the MySpaces out there. I just looked at some random Spaces, and may have only found bad ones (try stumbling around the internet and see what percentage of good sites you hit, it's probably pretty low, too). The tool used for creating a MySpace without needing a huge amount of time and ability may not lend itself to creating distinctive pages. I don't know.

It probably boils down to the fact that I am not quite twice the age of most of my students. I'm an old fogey who just doesn't understand kids these days. Why, back in my day....

I've seen 300, and it was a great movie. As you can imagine, high school guys love it. Actually, the girls liked it too. As one put it, "How could you not like it? Abs everywhere!"

So my school's mascot is the Spartans. You can imagine the guys are enjoying that association. From time to time in the halls you'll hear, "This is Sparta!" I've heard of a couple of teams in the school with plans to use lines from the movies as their "war cry." Some football players in one of my classes decided that "Spartans! Prepare for glory!" would be a wonderful thing to yell before a game.

They didn't think it was such a good idea when I pointed out that when the Spartans referred to glory, they were referring to death in battle.

Seen on a test-

I want my epitaph to read:

He was a great man.
He loved physics,
But magnetic forces weren't his forte.
Remember him, and let this be a lesson to all:
Do not worry about magnetic forces and fields,
For their havoc cannot be stopped.

It's a review day during this AP class two days before their test. As the students are leaving one comes up to me and asks if I'm available to answer questions after school. I say yes, and he says he'll be there after school with questions. This is a good thing, because he needs the help.

After school comes, and so does he. This conversation transpires.

Student: "So I haven't been paying much attention lately."
Me: "I've noticed."
S: "Now I have incentive to do better." (insert some reasons about college, being grounded, etc)
M: "Well, I'm glad to help. What do you have questions about?"
S: "Well, I know we're doing magnetic fields, ... but that's about all."

It turns out he wants me to re-teach everything because he wasn't paying attention and has now decided he should have been. I tell him that's not good enough. I can answer any questions he has, but he has to know enough to ask questions. I'm not going to re-teach it. I have him look at the review sheet I made, and I give him my book and tell him to sit here, read the worksheet, read the book, and let me know if he has any questions. After about 10 minutes of this he decides that the review sheet is pretty thorough (darn right it is) and that he'll look at the book at home and come in the next day with questions.

The next day he comes in... with one question. It's not even about the hard sections. It's a minor thing that the book explains very well. I answer his question and he leaves.

We'll see how the test went.

I was giving a test first thing this morning to my AP Physics B class. One of my better students arrived near the end of class. She had a note from the office saying her absence was excused because she was ill. My student told me that she had gone to a concert last night, and when she woke up this morning she had a headache and her ears were still ringing. I'm guessing that's not the story the office heard, but I can't do anything about it because they said her absence is excused.

When she comes in to make up the test tomorrow I think I'll tell her how pathetic her excuse was, and that she'd better get used to the ringing in her ears because some day it won't go away. Ahh, tinnitus, my ever-present companion.

Here's a little scribbling I did during TAKS testing. The students complain about how dull the testing is. They don't think about how exciting it is watching them take a test.

I've heard a lot about this MySpace thing. The students all have one, and I heard some teachers talking about it, so I figured I'd go check it out.

I've been to MySpace before. I checked it out when it was new, and not yet the cool thing to do. Looking at it then I thought it was on par with Geocities of the late '90's; lots of people making "Look at me, I'm on the internet!" pages. Since it's so popular now, I thought it must have changed.

Nope.

MySpace is a vast wasteland on the internet. There are a few highlights (Weird Al's site being one example), but those are heavily customized by professionals and far from the typical MySpace fare. What is common are vanity sites that all look the same. I've heard that kids see their MySpace page as a place where they can express themselves. If that's true, then they either don't have anything to express or are too lazy to express it.

Enough about MySpace. It doesn't matter. MySpace is sooo 5 minutes ago. Facebook is where all the cool kids are hanging out now.

When I inquired as to why she wasn't working on her lab...
"She made me do it, Mr .... Peer pressure, it works!"

This one was with a freshman study hall student and I:
Student: What is incest?
Me: Uhhhh.... (eek!)
S: It's on my homework.
Me: Let me see the question. (This ought to be good)
S: Is it doing something that you don't want to do?
Me: Yes, but not specifically. (Trying to come up with something here)
S: Is it rape?
Me: It can be, but that's not the definition. (Dang, they just took my dictionaries away, too)
S: ...
Me: It's like when a dad has sex with his daughter. The whole family kind of thing. (Just what I was trying to work my way around)
S: Oh. (I don't think he saw that one coming)

Two girls are working on a lab. One turns to the other and says:
1: How do you say "oyster"? (saying it correctly, by the way)
2: Oyster? (Saying it the same way)
1: Oyster.
2: Oyster. (Answering the original question)
1: Is that right?
2: Yes?
1: That's what I told them. (and turns back to their lab)

A student of mine informed me that he wasn't going to be in our next class. I asked him why, and he responded that he wouldn't be at school for a few days. Ah, suspension. This is an unusual occurrence for my students so I asked him why. It turns out that he played a prank in another class.

As class was starting he made a big show of leaning his head on his hand and complaining about how tired he was. He even asked to go to the nurse because he was so tired. The teacher refused, of course. When the teacher turned around he let his head slip and hit his forehead on the desk. He didn't hit it hard, and supplemented the sound by a simultaneous slap on the desk (Rob, I thought of you here). Had that been all, he probably wouldn't have gotten in trouble. He decided that wasn't enough, and was ready with some fake blood that he smeared on his forehead. Now, he says the teacher was still cool with this, merely tossing a Kleenex at him and telling him to clean it up. If that's true, and he had stopped here, he might not have gotten in trouble. However, he had a friend video this and put it on YouTube. That's what really got him in trouble.

He said he thought about doing it in my class. I don't think I would have turned him in, but I only have his story so who knows what really happened.

I gained a new appreciation for teaching juniors and seniors, and my juniors and seniors in particular.

One of our freshman/sophomore biology teachers had to leave school early to pick her kid up early from school. While she was gone three teachers each covered 20 minutes of her class. I got tapped for the last 20 minutes.

When I arrived, our department head was very worried and told me that there was a student in the room on drugs. She went through a litany about how she couldn't get in touch with anyone to come help, and she finally had to push the panic button, but they still hadn't come... and on and on like that. I looked around and didn't see anything unusual, no one out of their seat, no one freaking out (besides my dc), so I wasn't concerned. Shortly, a principle came and removed the student from class. I heard he ended up in juvy.

After things calmed down a guy at the front of the room started accusing a girl at the back of the room of doing drugs, too. She said she didn't ("Look at my pupils, not dilated!"), he said he saw her, blah, blah, blah. They're not calming down, he's not shutting up. The guy, the girl, and another girl (on the first girl's side) pop up, push their desks out of the way, and start yelling at each other. I step in the middle of this, yell at the guy and girl to sit down, and yell at the new girl to stay out of it (which she does). They eventually calm down, but the guy just won't shut up. About this time the teacher comes back. I tell her what's going on, and she has me take the guy and girl to the office. Done, and done.

I found out later that after school the guy got his girlfriend and went to have her beat up the girl from class (classy). Turns out the girl from class had a girlfriend, too. The two girlfriends went at it and the guy's girlfriend was the one who ended up getting the beating.

Makes me appreciate the problems I have in my classes. "Why do I have a B?" "When can we get our tests back?" "Is there anything I can do for extra credit?" "Why did I get this wrong?"

Yeah, I have it rough.

My vaunted immune system has failed me.

I've always been the type of person who never gets sick, and never takes medicine. I knew that system was bound to fail now that I'm constantly around hundreds of germ sponges every day, but I still had hope it wouldn't. For the past month, though, I've been almost constantly sort-of sick. Never anything really bad that would warrant taking a day off; just enough that I all I want to do is go to sleep. Granted, some of that sleep-lust may be due to my 6 hour a night habit (getting longer, fortunately), but a big part is my body telling me it needs sleep to get better. There were a few days where I was Day-Quil'd up during the day, and Ny-Quil'd down at night. I even went to the store and successfully navigated the scavenger hunt to be treated like a junkie to buy decongestant (who knew it was behind the counter?). After all that, the darn decongestant didn't work. Shoving the pills up my nose might have cleared my sinuses better than swallowing them did. Ugh.

I'm finally on the upswing. I still have a headache, still tired, still coughing, but I have a voice, my nose isn't vacillating between streaming mucus and nonexistent airways, and I'm generally feeling pretty ok. The voice thing was probably the worst. There were two days where I couldn't talk above normal conversational levels. I told my students that they needed to know what I was going to tell them, but I couldn't speak very loud. If they were talking over me I was just going to keep on going. Fortunately, my students are good enough that the classes were pretty self-correcting. Of course, one of those days I subbed for another class and almost had a fight in the classroom. That's another story.

So, Houston has been having some uncharectaristically cold weather. After the holiday on Monday, there was the possibility for an ice day on Tuesday. Normally, I'm all for days off, but I was really hoping this one wouldn't happen. "What's wrong with a free day," you might ask. Nothing, really. I just have this week scheduled out carefully since I'm going to be away (first time to have a sub) on Friday at an AP conference. (Speaking of AP. The AP audit is fodder for another post.) I have all of my classes scheduled to be testing on Friday. Our school is on an A/B block schedule so I wasn't sure if missing, say, Tuesday would mean I would be testing on Monday instead of Friday. I really didn't want that to happen. I don't know what I would have my students do with a sub. Suffice it to say, I was probably the only person at the school hoping for dry roads.

I ended up prevailing on the weather gods and they only hit us with freakishly cold weather. (I left Chicago, why does it's weather still torment me?!) I found out later that whatever day (A or B) we missed would just be skipped and made up later, so my worries were unfounded.

Here's hoping for an ice day tomorrow.

I've found the weight loss secret of the Ages. Can you keep a secret? Good.

Become a teacher.

You probably don't believe me based on some teachers you've seen, but it's true! For just $19.95 you can get in on the ground floor of this amazing opportunity! You, too, can fly to Houston, pay me to let you work in an actual classroom, and watch the pounds melt away. I've lost 15 pounds since I started teaching; 10 of them in the first month! Other teachers will tell you that they've gained weight since they started teaching, but they're just trying to keep this incredible secret for themselves!

The trick is to place tiny classified ads... I mean, uh, the trick is a combination of stress, long hours, limited snacking potential, exactly 30 minutes for lunch, and spending the day on your feet. In no time you'll see the fat melt away!

Call now! Voice mail is standing by because I should be grading labs and writing a test!

I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to next week. It's finals week. I'm giving all multiple choice exams (hard for them, but easy to grade) so I won't have much work to do all week. I'll have all of my non-exam grades done by this weekend, and nothing but multiple choice to grade next week. I'll have so much time on my hands I won't know what to do! Maybe I'll play disc golf, go for a run, watch a movie, read a book... the possibilities are endless! Except... my wife reads this blog. Uh oh. Possibilities shrinking.... Honey-do list growing.... Aaaaagggghhhh!!!!!

(love you, honey)

I kept track of how many hours I was working during the week before Thanksgiving. I don't think I have ever worked so many hours in a week! I worked nearly 70 hours that week! Monday through Thursday I was working 14-15 hours per day.

Either despite this, or because of this, I am starting to get more jealous of my time. I've heard other teachers talking about telling students they can only come by on certain days for help. I always thought that seemed a bit harsh, but I'm starting to find it easier to do. You know what? I've found the students don't usually care too much when I tell them they need to come on a certain day.

So far I haven't been able to see any benefits from this change because I have to turn in my final exams by Friday for approval. I realized this on Monday. I asked my mentor teacher for advise on writing a final. Her first tidbit: "If you haven't started writing them, you're screwed." No big deal; I'm used to getting things done at the last minute. Well, I finished my first final and review sheet today. I have to finish the other one tomorrow. I should make it. It won't be perfect, but nothing has been thus far.

(I tried to post this yesterday from school)

Today I woke up with the hiccups. (hic) They haven't gone (hic) away yet. It's a perfect day for them (hic) since I'm testing all day today. Nothing like a quiet classroom (hic) with the teacher hiccup(hic)ing all through class. My seniors were fine, but my jun(hic)iors had fi(hic)ts of giggling after my first (hic) few hiccups.

Ugh, this is getting old. Correction,(hic) it's been old for a while now. Fortun(hic)ately, I'm done with class for the day so they'(hic)ll probably stop soon.

My nerdy superpower is out in the open. A couple of days ago, after school, I mentioned to a few of my students that I can solve a Rubik's Cube. They wanted to see, so I showed them I could solve it in under 3 minutes. By today, all of my students are saying, "Mr. .... I hear you can solve a Rubik's Cube."

This morning our broadcast journalism class sent a few students over with a camera to film me solving the Cube. I think they're going to put it in fast forward and use it for the introduction on the morning announcements for a while.

"It's so not fair! If I had just done the summer reading I would have gotten an A!"

I've been told high school girls are much more oblivious than we give them credit for. Here's a shining example.

Girl, talking about golf: How much did you win by?
Guy: A stroke.
Girl: So, you guys didn't have to have your stroke off?
(guys in the area are trying not to laugh)
Guy: Uh..., no. That's not going to happen.

Ok, maybe it's just a guy thing.

I had a guy who kept putting on a girl's letter jacket. Finally, she put his on in retaliation.

Me: You two stop wearing each other's clothes!
Guy: Hey Mr. .... I bet when you started teaching you never thought you'd have to say that in class.

He's right.

I'm trying something new to see if I can be more efficient with my time. I'm starting to stay at school longer with the goal of getting as much done as possible while I am at school. I would ideally like to do all of my work at school and not have to bring anything home. That's not going to happen this year, but maybe I can come close. Well, closer, anyway.

I'm planning on keeping a log of my time this week to see how my work hours break down between home and school. Could be interesting. Check back later for more.

I've gone and done something I told myself I would never do again. I made a website. And more than just making a website, I've made a website from scratch. I tried using the wysiwyg editor available through my hosting company, but it just wouldn't do what I wanted it to do. I guess that's the price I pay for having been a web programmer in another life. Anyway, I got fed up with the editor and wrote my own site. Before anyone asks, the program I used to create the site is vi. For those of you not Unix/Linux savvy enough to know vi, it's a text editor. A text editor for geeks and programmers, not for mortal man. (cue evil laughter)

Unfortunately, since I'm trying to keep this blog fairly anonymous I can't tell you where it is. Those of you who know me can find it, though. If my last name were Nahasapeemapetilon (like the Kwik-E-Mart proprietor), then my website would be mrnahasapeemapetilon.com. Got it?

Throughout our halls there are student-made posters against drugs, drinking, and smoking. Some are amusing; most are just what you would expect. However, I saw a line on one that I have to pass on.

One anti-smoking poster lists the side effects of smoking. The usual suspects are there, but the last one caught my eye.

Desire to commit suicide
(90% of all people who commit suicide are smokers)

At first glance someone might think, "Wow, that's a powerful statistic." Hogwash. That's like saying:

90% of all people with glasses wash their hands at least 3 times a day, therefore poor eyesight is caused by excessive hand washing.

(My favorite is from the tenets of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)

Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of pirates since the 1800s.

I don't know who is making these posters, and I agree with their basic premise, but someone needs to teach their students that correlation does not imply causation.

I was watching Weird Al's "White and Nerdy" video tonight when I noticed something strange (I know, something strange in a Weird Al video, who'd have thunk). At several points in the video Al is dancing in front of a white background with this equation on it:


It's Schodinger's time-independant wave equation for the Hydrogen atom. I first thought, "That's cool. I remember doing stuff like that in college." Then I thought, "Hey, isn't that h supposed to be an h-bar?" So I looked it up and, sure enough, it's supposed to look like this:


Apparently I qualify as white and nerdy. Hmm... do I tell my students?

If you're interested, the wikipedia entry about the song is fun. That's where I got the equation images.

Here's what a typical day is like for me as a first year teacher.

5:30am - Alarm goes off. I struggle to my feet. The dog looks at me like I'm crazy, then curls up under the covers and goes back to sleep. Some days I wish I was a dog.

6:15-6:30am - Make the dog get out of bed to go outside. Let dog in; dog goes back to bed; I go to school.

(5-10 minutes later) Arrive at school.

6:30-7:00am - Sign in, check mail, go to my room, unpack my backpack, check email, make copies before the line starts.

7:00-7:50am - Get things set up for the day. Organize my notes, write today's agenda and homework on the board, answer questions from students who come early for help. Get miscellaneous stuff done if time permits.

7:50am - School starts. Every other day I have this period off. On those days I get to write detentions for being late to school for the first 15 minutes, then I get work done for the next 75 minutes. Sometimes students come by during their study hall with questions.

11:00-11:40am - Lunch. Two periods down, two to go.

11:40-1:20pm - My last period of the day.

1:20-3:00pm - I have this period off each day. Usually, when there aren't students doing make-ups or asking questions, I try to get work done, but end up trying to stay awake.

3:00pm - School ends. I have to be here until 3:30, though.

3:00-? - Most days I have students coming by with questions during this time. Two days a week I guarantee I'll be available until 4pm. Not like I leave before 4 anyway. I typically leave between 4:15 and 5 so I can go wake up the dog.

Afternoons - Once a week I play Ultimate Frisbee with students until 6. Once a week I tutor from 5-6. Otherwise I snack, and read a little while trying to stay awake.

Evenings - Grading and planning. I can be seen sitting at the dining table surrounded by papers and books until late into the night. The dog alternates between sleeping on her blanket on the floor next to me, or barking loudly at the night. Well, that and pawing my leg while looking at me with the epitome of puppy-dog-eyes saying, "It's time to go to bed. Really. Now."

Bedtime is usually between Midnight and 1am. If I'm in bed before Midnight it seems like an early night. I've had nights when I'm done early (such as tonight) and can go to bed around 11. Those are the nights I have trouble falling asleep.

You'll notice there's no running in this schedule. Nope, I only run once a week. I've been running 20+ miles every Saturday. This Saturday I have 25-26 or so planned. I only have until December to get ready for my Ultra.

I've been encouraged to join a teachers union (everyone seems to have their own idea about which one to join) because it's a "good thing." Blah blah blah, bargaining power, blah blah blah, gains for teachers, blah blah blah, legal protection. Ok, that last one catches me. I want to have some sort of legal protection in case some student decides to make up a story to ruin my life. I know someone this has happened to, and it is an understatement to say it has caused him great difficulties. The question becomes, what non-union options are there for comparison?

I've found AAE Teachers, which is a non-union, non-political, non-profit group for teachers which offers (among other things) legal protection. Anyone know of any others like this?

Once, I found a company that offered legal insurance for teachers just like car insurance, but I can't find it anymore.

It appears there are options, so the question is now, union or non-union?

I have to say, this really isn't a question for me. I think unions are an anachronism which serve no modern purpose other than causing problems for, and inhibiting, American business. They were great in their time, but that time has long passed. So, I can't join a union. On one of the new teacher training days there was a time where we could go talk to all of the professional organization booths. I almost went and tried to stir up the union folk, but it had been a long day and I just wanted to go home, so I didn't. I was going to talk to them about how my dues would be used for political purposes, and what say I had in those choices. I know the answers already (Democrat, and none), but I thought it would be fun to push some buttons. Can you imagine the look on their face if I had walked up and said, "I think teachers with concealed weapons permits should be allowed to carry in the classroom. Will your union work towards that goal?" I'm imagining some bug-eyed sputtering.

Anyway, I could rant on that for a while, but that's not the point of this post. I can't join a union, and I want legal protection. What do you suggest?

During a test the students had to measure something in centimeters.  I passed out rulers, but during the test a student raised her had and said, "Mr. …, this ruler doesn't have centimeters."  I get her another ruler and take the other one back.  I look at it and see english on top, metric on bottom, just like all the others.  I point at the metric side and say, "It has centimeters."  She said, "No, it only has millim…, oh."

AP students were talking about a TV show. 

One of the smarter ones asks, "When is it on?"
Other: "It's on Nick-at-Nite."
Smarty: "What channel is that?"
Other: "It's NICK-at-Nite.  It's on NICK-elodean."

An announcement comes over the loudspeaker announcement system.  As the announcer is doing the Wal-Mart Hang-up (you know, where they clatter the phone into the cradle while it's still live on the loudspeaker) you hear a voice that must have been right next to him say, "What was that you just announced?"

7 weeks in and things are going well.

I only had a few students fail my classes.  Most made A's or B's.  However, my AP classes have too many A's, I'm afraid.  I've been thinking perhaps things are too easy in those classes.  I try to give harder tests, but they still do well on them.  I've been trying to figure out what else I can do to make the class more challenging.  I'm not looking for a certain grade distribution, but if almost everyone is getting an A then the class needs to be harder.

This week I think I found the point where the classes are getting harder.  My APB class got more B's than A's on the last test, and they have another test tomorrow.  Hopefully that will be similar.  My APC class has been devouring everything I give them, no matter how hard I think I've made it.  They'll complain about how hard the test was, and then 90% of them will get A's.  This week I started throwing calculus at them in earnest, and they've started complaining that they want to go back to the last unit because it was much easier.  I'm hoping that the high grades until now were indicative of the material, not the difficulty of the class.

In more interesting news, I've started playing Ultimate Frisbee with a group of students.  I was talking frisbee with some of my students one day and they invited me to play with them.  I went last week and had a lot of fun.  They were mostly students from my AP classes, and cross country runners (the two groups overlapped considerably).  I was a bit worried that they'd run me into the ground since they're 10+ years my junior and currently training for speed.  Nope.  I held my own quite well.  They say they've played tournaments before, but I don't think they've ever tried to play in an organized fashion.  My experience with Ultimate allowed me to see things happening before the students did.  Ok, so I did hurt my leg and wasn't able to run that weekend, but it's not because I'm old!  I'm not old!

My ACP observer came by this week to observe one of my classes. She stopped by at the beginning of my AP Physics C class and stayed for about 45 minutes. We were doing a lab, so it was an easy day for me. An easy day in one of my easy classes; a perfect day for an observation!

It went well. Nothing much to say about it. Class was uneventful. Afterwards, she gave me my review and raved about how good I was. I mentioned that these were good kids and lab days are easy, but she said that the smart kids are sometimes the hardest to handle. Ok, if she says so. The stories I hear from teachers down the hall make me think I fell into the secret good spot in public education.

Some good excuses I've heard so far this year:

"You're not going to believe this, but a dog really did eat my homework."

"My bag was stolen last night with all my physics stuff in it."


Overheard:

I don't know what the students were talking about, but I heard the words "TI-83 calculator" and "wet T-shirt contest" in the same sentence. I really wish I heard the rest of the sentence.

My students were taking a test when we heard this bit of teacher instruction issued from the other side of the wall: "Don't poke your eye out!"

This weekend I went to a club with a few people, one being a friend from another school, and another being her college roommate. I found out that Roommate is the daughter of an art teacher at my school (who I believe has the room directly below mine), and has a brother who goes to my school. Small world.

At the end of one of my classes today I let the students start on their homework. I'm talking to a group of students and one of them says, "Hey, Mr. ..., I hear you went clubbing this weekend."

The words "Huh?!", "Wha....?", and "Uhhhh?" went through my head at this point.

I'm sure you see where this came from. He's friends with Roommate's sister.

Apparently news travels fast at school.

In one of my AP classes I have 3 varsity volleyball players (all with the same name, incidentally). I didn't know this. Well, I didn't know this until I had gone to a JV game with some other teachers and was leaving afterwards to go to dinner with them. As I was walking out I ran into my 3 students getting ready for the varsity game which followed the JV game. I also saw 2 of my students who are varsity cheerleaders. So now I have 5 of my students giving me a hard time about leaving before the varsity game starts. I would have stayed, but I hadn't eaten all day and was running on 3 hours of sleep so I just wanted to eat and sleep (this is Friday afternoon). I told them to bring me a schedule to put on the classroom wall, and I would go to their next home game.

I was surprised at how excited they were to see me and how much they wanted me to stay for their game. I didn't realize it would be that big of a deal to have a teacher watching their game. I went to their most recent home game (which they won) which was right before back to school night. The parents of my 3 volleyballers told me their daughters were excited to see me at the game, and when I saw my volleyballers today they seemed to think it was very cool that I had seen their game.

I had fun, so I'll try to go to more events that my students are in.

The Drill Team chose me as their "Teacher of the Week" for last week. A girl I didn't know came into my room at the start of lunch with a decorated star to give me. She told me I was the Drill Team's "Teacher of the Week." I was surprised, and asked how I had done that. She said that the junior girls voted on it and I won. I was all smiles.

My wife said, "Awww, how cute. They have a crush on you."

I hit a milestone today.

Tomorrow will be the first day that I will be using photocopies I have made that were not made early in the morning before school started. That means I'm actually a little ahead! I was prepared enough to make my copies after school today rather than my usual routine of getting to school early to make copies before the machine gets busy. Now I don't have to go to school tomorrow hoping the machines are working.

Last night was back to school night. That's the night where the parents can come and sit in their kid's classes and listen to the teacher give a 7 minute talk about the class. I was nervous going into it since I have had very little parent interaction so far. I've been given various advice from other teachers:

"Don't let them know you're a new teacher; even if you have to lie."
"Just feel out the group and decide if you will tell them you are new to teaching."

"Talk bell to bell. Do not allow them to ask questions."
"Let them ask questions."
"I wouldn't plan time for questions, but questions are fine."

Really helpful.

Things went fine. The 7 minutes goes really quickly when you're used to talking for 90 minutes at a time. My first class had time for a few harmless questions, but after that I'd swear the periods got shorter and shorter. By the end of the night I felt like I had just gotten started when the bell rang.

When parents were entering my room I stood holding the door open and greeting them as they came in. Most of them would introduce themselves and tell me who their child is. I had one parent walk right past me as I started to say "Hello, I'm Mr. ...." She then turned around and looked at me and asked, "Oh, are you a teacher?" I'm guessing I'm younger than she was expecting.

I had many good comments from parents. Several told me they were very happy that I am someone who knows physics, and appears to really like it. Many of their children had teachers in the past who were teaching physics because they were assigned it, not because they chose it.

I got paid today! It's my first real check since November. I'm finally a producing member of society again. More importantly, I'm no longer reliant on my lovely wife for cash.

During 1st period, we got the word over the loudspeaker that we were in a "hold in place" condition. I looked on my trusty emergency cheat sheet and saw that that fell under the "Chemical" tab. That can't be good.

We can't let the students leave (fortunately I didn't have any), and we can't leave the rooms until further notice. This drags on and on. Around the end of 1st period they announce that there is a bat in the building and we'll have to wait another 30-40 minutes for animal control to come get it.

We spent well over an hour in this condition, missing a good part of the 2nd period of the day. I later heard that the bat was small enough that the animal control person carried it away in something the size of a sandwich bag. Not only that, but it was just hanging on a wall sleeping. For all they put us through you'd have thought it was a monstrous bat with glowing red eyes flying around terrorizing girls with long hair.

Our scantron machines died today, with progress reports due Tuesday and everyone in the building rushing to get a test grade in.  Fortunately, I did not give a scantron test.  I just have a stack of labs and tests to grade by hand.  Hmmm, not sure who is getting the raw end of the deal there.

My first 3 day weekend as a teacher is going to be spent grading 90 lab reports, 90 tests, 30 quizzes, and misc. makeup work.  Should be an exciting labor day!

The bathroom door in our department office doesn't work.  If you lock the deadbolt from the inside and turn the handle from the inside, the handle won't turn.  However, if you turn the handle on the outside, the deadbolt retracts and the door opens.  I'm glad I wasn't the one to discover that.

I've remembered that I can email my posts in.  Now I can post from school so you should be hearing more from me.

Grading lab reports.  It's enough to make me wonder what rattles around in my students heads sometimes.  Next I have to grade tests.  I cringe to think what those hold in store.  The other teacher and I have already been talking about adding "because it was hard" points to the test and lab.

There's a student in one of my classes who is smart, he understands the material, but he doesn't follow directions.  I hate giving him C's when he gets the right answers and knows what he's doing, but he doesn't show his work.  I've told them time and time again to show their work, and most are finally getting it, but he hasn't been.  Hopefully he did better on the test.

I hear from another physics teacher that some of the students in my AP Physics B class are completely lost.  I know things have been going quickly, and it's a hard topic, but I didn't think they were lost.  It's probably because they don't ask questions, and aren't used to having to read the book.  I haven't had a single AP student come by my room outside of class asking for help.  I'll have to emphasize that they should.

I have a couple of good stories.  Hopefully I'll have time to post them this weekend.

I had intended to be posting more often than this, but, as those who are teachers will understand, since school started I have been busier than I have ever been before. Things are going well. Here are some highlights, and our featured story.

I told all my students the first day that I am a first year teacher. The other new teacher in our department isn't going to tell her students that. I think the difference in our class levels (she teaches grade level, and I teach PreAP and AP) is reflected in the students maturity level (or what passes for that in high school). So far it has been a good thing for my students to know I'm new. My students can laugh with me when I make silly mistakes, or new teacher discoveries. They enjoyed it when I found I could use multiple colors on the overhead. Also, they know that I probably can't answer them if they ask what's going on next week. Right now I'm running about 12 hours ahead of my students. Hopefully that will increase soon.

Today I had my first lecture that fell apart. It's my AP Physics C class. Last week we talked about derivatives, and I found that all but four of my students had learned derivatives before. Great, that means they know integrals, too. I only need to plan a review on integrals to refresh memories and introduce them to the four who are just starting calculus. So we go over a problem for a while until we encounter the place where we need to use integrals. I begin my integral review. The students are very involved, scribbling notes and asking lots of questions. I'm pleased, until I realize there are too many questions. I'm getting questions from the students who were looking bored during the derivative review.

"Strange," I thought.

So I ask the class, "Who has had integration before."

....

"Anyone?"

....

Uh oh.

"Hmm," I say. "Ok, I was not expecting that."

I find out that they learned derivatives in the couple of weeks before school ended last year, and they'll be learning integration this year. I tell them that I had prepared a review of integrals, and was not prepared to teach integrals, but we'll see what we can do. There's about 45 minutes left in the period; plenty of time. I launch into integrals. Indefinite integrals go well. We're integrating, we're taking derivatives, things are going well. Then I try to transition into definite integrals. That didn't go so well. After fumbling through the beginning of definite integrals (remember, I haven't had calculus in 8 years and hadn't planned on doing definite integrals today) I start to confuse them, and in the process end up confusing myself.

Enough of this.

I stop things and tell them that we're going to approach integrals from a different perspective right now, and I'll have something better prepared for next time. I start showing them integration from a graphical perspective. That should be easier, right? That didn't work so well either.

RING!!!

Saved by the bell! "Get out of here! I'll figure something out for next time."

In the end, even though my lecture completely melted down I was pleased with how it went. I never felt totally lost, I never panicked, I never lost control of the class, and I never lost their attention.

I know you all are waiting for this so I'll put up a quick first day report.

Everything went well. The day was a bit chaotic since we're cramming 8 periods plus some extra stuff into it. Much of the day was spent passing out paperwork or going over paperwork with the students. My classes weren't bad. They were a bit chatty, but it's the first day and they're all Juniors or Seniors.

Early on I found I was finishing all my stuff early so I would just go through the roll again and try to remember some of the names. I didn't do so well at that. Oh well, I'll have plenty of opportunities to practice. After lunch I started asking for an interesting tidbit about them when I went through the roll the second time. That killed a lot of time. On a day with nothing physics to do I was happy just keeping them busy and paying attention to me so they weren't chatting with friends.

I really felt like I was subbing again. Handing out papers, going over papers, following instructions provided to me, and keeping the kids busy is exactly like subbing. Tomorrow should be a much different day.

That's it for now. I'm working on an AP lesson for tomorrow, and I'd like to sleep some too.

Well, the power was out at my house a couple of nights ago and I needed to print my syllabi out so I went over to my Sis-in-law's house to use their computer. While I'm printing stuff out my 3 year old niece was watching and asking about what I was doing.

RM: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I'm printing out stuff for my students."
RM: "Wow, you have a lot of students."
(I was printing a dozen pages or so)
Me: "Yep, I sure do."
RM: "How big are they?"
Me: "They're about 17 years old."
(not a satisfactory answer)
RM: "How big are they?"
Me: "They're a little shorter than me."
(ah, that's what she wanted to know)

She thinks hard for a second. Then she runs to her room calling over her shoulder: "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

She runs back with a paper balloon tied to a length of yarn.

RM: "Here you go. You can give this to your students. They will like it very much."

I bet they will. I put it on my front wall.

So much has been happening, but since part of it was buying a house I haven't had internet for almost 10 days.

First of all, yes, we bought our first house. My lovely wife is a very trusting lady who didn't see the house in person until after we signed the papers. Good thing she likes it or you might never have heard from me again. Something I'll enjoy is the 1.5 mile commute I'll have. Quite a change from the heady days of IT when I'd drive 50 miles each way.

Speaking of commutes, tomorrow is the first day of school. I've been in various trainings for the past 5 weeks, have had several days to get my room ready, and now they expect me to be able to handle actual students! Everyone has been asking me if I'm overwhelmed yet. I'd say partially. I think I'm overwhelmed because right now we're looking at the whole year: creating syllabi, lesson plans, rules, procedures, and on and on and on. I think once we're past that and focusing on a few days or weeks at a time things will seem much more manageable.

My department is very good. I like everyone in it and no one takes things too seriously. I wouldn't be able to

Excuse me. My dog just gave me the "look at me" growl. She's sitting on the floor next to me looking at me expectantly and pawing my leg every time I return to typing. It's too early for her to be begging me to go to bed, she was just outside, ... aha, she wants to play. I'll be back.

work as well with them if they didn't like to have fun. The female:male ratio isn't too extreme either. In my department it's only about 1.5:1.

I have to say, I haven't spent this much time thinking about artsy stuff, looking at paper and markers, or cutting anything in a very long time. My room is pretty stark right now. I put up my one poster, a picture of Yoda that another teacher gave me, and a paper balloon. "A paper balloon?" you may be asking yourself. Seems kind of random doesn't it? I'll make my next post about it.

Today I was at Office Max/Depot (can't tell the two apart) and I found dry erase overhead pens. I can't tell you the last time I was excited about a pen, but these should be cool. I'll be trying them out tomorrow.

Ok, enough randomness. Check back for a first day report.

A lot going on lately, but not much teaching related. I've been spending a lot of time getting ready to buy a house. We're supposed to close on Friday, and I've been running around trying to get the appraisal number out of our appraiser. It's been a challenge, but I prevailed today! That should be the last hurdle.

By the way, don't use Apex Appraisals in Houston unless you like unless you like changing requirements and insinuations that you're trying rip them off even though you're following their directions. It may be a fine company, but the guy I've been dealing with should not be working with people.

I have been working on my syllabi for my AP classes. It's easy enough to figure out what to teach; the AP book tells you what's going to be on the test. What's hard is trying to figure out the best order to teach it in, and how long each part will take. I could go the traditional way and progress from Mechanics through E&M, but they've just finished a class like that. I could start with E&M and then do Mechanics. I could also mix the two since many of the motion and force related Mechanics formulas are very similar to formulas in E&M. I like the idea, but I think it will take too much work on my part right now since I still don't really know what I'm doing. Maybe in a few years.

Now I need to work on lesson plans. Only 2 weeks until I see the kids.

The thing I keep telling myself is that I will screw up, things will not go the way I plan, and that I will survive. Next year I get to start fresh with better ideas and more experience.

I keep thinking of a quote that was probably said by some famous person somewhere, but I remember it from the Wheel of Time books.

"No battle plan survives contact with the enemy."

From the must-not-be-english category:
"I'm bilingual in another language."

From the addicted category:
An 8 minute break started and one lady put her iPod in one ear, and her cell phone on the other.

From the are-you-sure-you're-a-teacher category:
"In first grade we use a letter grading system: A, B, C, D, uh... E?.... Anyway, it's a letter system."

From the true-false-and-whatever category:
"Please take exactly about 7 minutes to..."

From the trying-to-keep-a-straight-face category:
Guy commenting on an assignment to his partner: "This is retarded."
Girl partner, a special ed teacher: "Did you say retarded!?!?!?!?"

Fifteen mile run yesterday. I was decked out shirtless with my GPS watch, iPod, and CamelBak ready for a long, hot run under the 90+ degree cloudless sky. I make it to my turn-around point on a gravel road that runs along the top of a levy (I think) around a large park. As I turn around I see large dark clouds coming in from the north.

Wish #1: "Ah," I think, "I hope they come this way and block out the sun for a while."

Heading back to the east I keep looking back over my shoulder at the clouds getting ever closer to the sun which is still beating down on me. Finally, they obscure the sun. A cool wind starts to blow and temps drop a bit. I pick up the pace a bit to take advantage of this respite in case the clouds blow over and the sun returns. It doesn't feel like rain, but I put my iPod in the CamelBak just in case.

After a little while it starts to sprinkle. That the sprinkling consisted of big drops should have been a clue. As it was, I enjoyed the coolness and kept the miles rolling. Soon the sprinkling stopped.

Wish #2: "Don't stop yet," I say to the sky, "you just got started."

It starts sprinkling again. Good. The miles keep going by.

Round about mile 12 God decides he's given me my fair warning and proceeds to dump a lake on my head.

By now I'm pretty much the only person left on this paved trail that runs through a grassy area between houses and a bayou. I'm running with my face looking at my feet, through puddles up to my ankles, with nothing to do but keep going.

Shortly after the deluge started the lightning and thunder got going.

FLASH. CRACK!!!!!

No counting the thousands there. I was ducking and swerving for the treeline before I realized what I was doing. That one sounded like it was right over my head. A couple more close ones had me slogging through the grass at the treeline for a few minutes. I got back on the trail again and had a few more uncontrollable fits of ducking before the lighting started to move on.

At one point, around mile 13, I went under a bridge where a street ran over the trail. There were a couple of cyclists there waiting for the waterfall to stop. At this point I thought to myself, "I can't get any wetter," and just kept on going.

Things started to slack off as I approached mile 14, which is where I get off the trail to head home. As I approached the overpass I saw my sis-in-law sitting in her car waiting for me. She had been worried about me and offered me a ride home. While I greatly appreciated the offer, the rain had now stopped and I only had a mile to go so I just ran the rest of the way.

When I got back to the house I checked the rain gauge and found 2 INCHES of water there.

I'm in training at my school district this week. So far we're getting told about learning methodologies and taxonomies. Yeah, it's about as fun as it sounds. Who'd have thunk you need to break complex ideas into simple ones in order to teach them? Apparently we need to be told that very thing using fancy words because we're too stupid to figure it out for ourselves.

For the last couple of days my learning partner has been a fresh from college teacher. She's had all this stuff recently in classes, and I've seen it all recently in my ACP (Jimmy: that stands for Alternative Certification Program). She has learned this stuff more recently, and more formally, than I so she's been helping me understand what they really mean when they use the fancy jargon.

Every few minutes the instructor will ask a question and tell us to discuss it with our partner. Many times I would find myself not paying attention and frantically rewinding in my brain to try and figure out what the question was. This as I'm turning to my partner and see her looking at me like she's being nice and giving me first shot. At one point I can't remember the question at all. We just sit there staring at each other and she finally says, "I wasn't paying attention." Whew. I tell her I wasn't either, and we come to a new understanding of how similarly we feel about this. It's too bad they're making us switch partners from time to time because we get stuck with people who are really into this and like to nit-pick silly points. The elementary teachers are the worst at picking at the fine distinctions that really don't matter. I wonder why that is?

As part of the move from Chicago to Houston we're moving our insurance to a local agent. I got a call from this agent asking me some questions.

While trying to find our file she asked where we were moving from, I said "Chicago."

She asked what the code or abbreviation was for Chicago. Since we don't actually live in the Chicago city limits I told her which suburb we live in.

She said "Not that, is it CH, CHI...?"

Ah, I get it now.

"It's IL," I say in a disgustedly flat voice, trying not to let the disbelief show through.

Her response was to laugh it off.

Can I still make jokes about public schooling?

Back in the dorm. Jeez, I don't remember it being this bad, and this room is better than any I stayed in during my Froggie time.

This room has a private bathroom,

The hot and cold on my shower are switched and should be labeled cool and cold. Apparently you need to run the water for 30 minutes for it to warm up. I don't get up that early. Oh, and the toilet only flushes if you pull the handle in a particular direction and hold it there for a bit.

it's own thermostat and AC controls,

It could be nice if it was quieter, and didn't try to freeze you out no matter what temperature you tell it. I just tell it "off."

and movable furniture.

Too bad I had to move the desk and bed just to find electrical and network outlets, and I sleep on a low wooden dresser-like thing with a small (really small) PLASTIC COVERED mattress on it.

There was a stack of sheets, blanket, and towels sitting in our room when we arrived. The towels are almost translucent (not kidding), and I had to make my own bed. I haven't had to do stuff like this since I got married (love you, honey). For sheets we get two FLAT sheets. For those husbands out there who have been married longer than I the flat sheet is not the one with the funky corners that won't fold right no matter how hard you try, but do keep it on the mattress. Here I am with a flat sheet laying on top of a PLASTIC mattress (which is so small it doesn't fill the space it is in) with another flat sheet on top of that, and a thin blanket on top of that. The thing about sheets laying freely on PLASTIC mattresses is that there is a low coefficient of friction (I had to throw in some physics) which means the sheet doesn't stay on the mattress very well.

While I sleep ok curled up in a ball on the part of the sheet that is still on the mattress with the other sheet and blanket tucked under my feet so I won't feel like I've been short sheeted, others have complained about getting little sleep.

Oh, and there's no trash can in the room.

When did I become so picky?

I just got my unofficial TExES score for Math/Physics in the email. I passed! I got 276 points out of 300. That's 92%. I needed 70% to pass.

One test down. One more test and a whole school year to go before I'm certified.

Jimmy Fast asked what I'll be teaching, and I see I mentioned it about 10 posts ago, but wasn't very descriptive. (How's this for customer service)

I'll be teaching Pre-AP Physics, AP Physics B, and AP Physics C. AP Physics C is calculus based physics. Pre-AP will also be taught by a second teacher, and we'll be doing the same-class-different-teacher kind of thing. We'll give the same handouts, tests, and homework on the same schedule. The other teacher has taught it before so she'll be a big help getting me ready for the year. There was an AP Physics B class last year, and that teacher said she'll be getting me some of her stuff, but they haven't taught AP Physics C before. So not only will I be learning to teach, and learning to teach AP, but I'll be developing an AP course myself (with help, of course). It's a good thing I've done all this before, I just have to spray some WD-40 up my nose to get that part of my brain all nice and lubricated again. I hope I hit the right part the first time; I might not get a second chance.

I am now officially a government employee!

So I signed my contract today, got lots of paperwork for benefits, and found out that my July is now full. Here's how July looks.

5-9: Travel to Chicago to start moving stuff down here.
10-14: AP conference at Texas A&M.
17-22: District training for first year teachers like me.
26-28: District training for teachers new to the district.
August 2: Report to school.

That puts hitches in several plans, and should have my head exploding with info by the time school starts.

There were several first year teachers at this contract signing today. Two were fresh from college, and one other was formerly a lawyer. The lawyer had gotten fed up with law and decided to become a teacher. What a touching story. Someone should make a movie of her life. Just change "lawyer" to "IT geek", and "her" to "me", and we'll make millions! I was talking to one of the new teachers about the job, and she said something to the effect of, "Good job, good pay, good benefits, what's not to like?" Some of you will be wondering at the "good pay" part of that. Just wait; I plan to address that soon.

I just got back the wedding of a couple of college friends. While there I saw a number of people I haven't seen in a while. Several of them are teachers. When they found out I'll be teaching AP my first year I was called many things; the tamest of which is "you bastard." I'd print the others, but, with the exception of the "Shocker" post, this is a family blog.

I was given a warning about the AP conference I'll be attending in a couple of weeks. Apparently, they take 15 minutes of material and take 3 hours to teach it. Ugh, I can't wait. I guess I'll be brushing up my mad Sudoku skillz.

I though I had seen the last of stupid powerpoint presentations when I left the corporate world. Well, I was told that faculty meetings typically have a powerpoint presentation which is printed out and given to you, AND, if that wasn't bad enough, is then read to you. If I could get a firm grasp on my hair I'd pull it out! Three of my pet peeves at once!

Please, for everyone's sake, if you ever have to give a powerpoint presentation:

1. Don't read the slides to me. I'm a big boy; I learned how to read a long time ago.
2. If you have my email address, don't print the slideshow. I'm a big boy; if I want it on paper I can click "print."
3. Come up with a better way of giving your presentation. Technology should be used to enhance your presentation, not be the presentation. If you aren't a necessary part of the presentation then don't present it, email it.

Anyway, everyone had good advice, thinks I'll be a good teacher, and thinks I'll have fun teaching. I'll find out soon enough.

I went to a one day Pre AP conference thing for science teachers. I came away with a big notebook full of stuff that should be useful, and a couple of eyes opened after interacting with public school teachers. Keep in mind that my only experience with public school teachers so far has been my freshman year in high school. Not much to go on.

My "lab partner" for this was a middle school Integrated Physics and Chemistry teacher. I emphasize Chemistry. One of our labs had us measuring the volume of water in a graduated cylinder. Not hard, right? This IPC teacher poured the water in until the line where the water touched the side of the cylinder was at 100. What's wrong with this picture? If you answered, "Aren't you supposed to measure liquid volumes from the apex of the meniscus" you'd be right. Many of you probably remember this from high school, even if you haven't used it since then. I commented to my partner that she needed to add a little more water because we needed to measure from the bottom of the meniscus. She didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. She added a couple of drops (clearly not enough, if she understood) and asked, "How's that?" Ugh, I ended up adding the water myself.

All throughout this class I was seated in the front of the room. I'm normally a mid-back of the room kind of guy, but I figured that teachers are always harping on "sit closer; fill it the empty chairs" so I shouldn't jump to the back. Well, that wasn't the only thing I thought teachers did.

The teachers who were seated in the back of the room spent a lot of the time talking. Sometimes to the point that I was having trouble hearing the instructor. Whatever happened to teachers telling kids to stop talking? Is this a case of "while the kids are away the teachers will play?"

One lab we were supposed to do silently. This was because we had to figure something out without talking about it. How hard is it to get a classroom full of teachers to shut up for a couple of minutes? Apparently, very.

When we came back from a break one of the teachers was talking on his cell phone. This would have been fine if he had stopped talking once the class started, but he didn't. He talked on the phone for several minutes after the instructor started talking again. Eventually, he ended the call with "I have to go now," in a loud whisper. Again, don't teachers keep students from talking on phones during class?

Based on this experience and your comments to an earlier post of mine I'm expecting many surprises once I start working.

Edit: Talk about bad. Who measures water in a graduated calendar.

It's good to know that all of my hard work hasn't been in vain. I've already gotten a 5% raise! That's enough to pay for the ACP I'm in. Sweet.

I got a call yesterday from the school district asking me to come to their next new teacher orientation on the 27th. I'll be doing a variety of things there, but the most important one is signing my contract. When I asked if I'd be signing the contract at the orientation I was told yes, but they considered our verbal agreement to be binding. I guess I've been hired for a while, then. This crazy world of education; I come from the world where nothing is final until it is in writing and signed.

I had 5 hours to take my test this morning; I used 2 of them. Some people would consider that a bad sign, but I take standardized tests quickly and I feel I did pretty well. I'm being cautiously optimistic about it. I'll be able to see my score online on June 30. I'm hoping it will be a good birthday present.

I was surprised by the number of people taking tests today. There were probably 700 people there. I figured it would be a few dozen, or maybe 100, but I was very wrong. There were a couple of dozen in my testing room; one room of nearly 30 total.

I've found, and will elaborate in a future post about a conference I attended last week, that teachers don't follow directions any better than high school students. I thought they would be better than the students since they tend to complain about how bad students are at following directions. However, despite repeated admonitions not to get in the entrance line early or until the line was shorter the line kept growing and growing. People tried to go through the "express lane" (the one you went in if you didn't have a purse to be searched or cell phone to check) with bags and kids. Did they think they were going to check their kid at the property reclamation table, or did they think their kid would be perfectly silent for 5 hours. I think there's a reason they're forbidden from the testing site.

The private school I applied to, the one that was going to decide by May 1, finally decided on a physics teacher. I got my rejection letter in the mail yesterday. No big deal, I would have had to reject them if they had offered me the job.

I did realize that this is the first time I was turned down for a job. Not bad; I'm 28 and only now am I getting my first "Let's just be friends" letter from a company.

On the more promising job front, I got a call from the principal of the school where I'm most likely to be teaching next year...

Ok, I really need to name this school. Hmmm, something random, something anonymous, something fake (no need to confuse anyone). Aha! I've got it. How about Arlen High School from King of the Hill. Sound good?

BILL: Yep.
DALE: Yep.
HANK: Yep.
BOOMHAUER: M-hm.

On the more promising job front, I got a call from the principal of Arlen High School (much better) who told me how to get signed up for the AP summer seminars. She also told me that it took her daughter 3 tries to pass this math/physics test that I'm taking next weekend. Her daughter didn't have the physics background I do, but she just wanted to let me know. I asked if it is a deal breaker if I don't pass the test this first time. She said she didn't think they could offer me a contract if I didn't pass it (since there's not another test date before school starts), but she didn't sound sure. I've talked to other teachers who say that schools hire teachers before they've passed the test because you're not certified until after your first year of teaching (if you're doing it the way I am). I checked my ACP info and it only says that many school districts may not consider you for a job until you pass the test. We'll see what happens.

Things will probably be pretty slow around here until June 10. I've been spending a lot of time studying, and will be doing much of the same for the next week.

At the school I was subbing for (I really should have given it a name) each grade had a big class picture taken. The day they were handed out to the kids they were a topic of discussion in my classes. Who looked good, who didn't. Who they liked, who they didn't. You get the idea.

One class tried to get as many people as possible to wear the class shirt. Well, less than half of them did so the picture was photoshopped so that more of the kids were wearing the class shirt. It was an OK photoshop job. The newly dressed kids had very flat shirts that all looked the same, and none of them were in the front row. Anyway, no big deal.

My senior year in high school a number of kids got in trouble for flashing white supremacist hand signs in some pics that got in the yearbook. You may think that's horrible, but it was just stupid. Stupid in that the only black guy in my class was declared an "honorary white guy" by the white supremacist crowd since he was a part of their group. Go figure. They all had to publicly apologize to our class right before graduation or they wouldn't be allowed to participate. We got some real heartfelt apologies delivered in monotones that implied, "We're sorry we got caught" and, "I don't see what the big deal is." Class acts, all.

Anyway, back to the point of this whole post.

In another of the class photos a kid is flashing "the shocker" on his leg, subtlely (for plausible deniability I'm sure), but it's there.

The shocker is a vulger hand sign made by folding down your ring finger. Read this (not you, Mom) if you really, really want to know what it stands for. Don't say I didn't warn you.

I saw it and had to laugh that the shocker got through the censors, but they felt it important to change kids shirts to match. At this school the shocker would not go over well with the faculty. For example, I overheard one teacher talking about how they stopped reading a book 3 pages in when it had a swear word. I'm guessing that the powers that be just don't know about the shocker. It seems like it would be much easier to photoshop part of a finger into the picture than it would be to change people's shirts.

I'd be curious to see how long it takes someone to notice it when it's on the office wall next year.

The school I've been subbing at finally called regarding the physics job I applied, interviewed, and practice taught. You know, the one where they were going to decide by May 1. The principal called and wanted to let me know that they'll probably make a decision next week, that he didn't want to be holding me back from anything (no problem there), and asked if I had gotten a job yet. I told him that I have had several interviews and one is very promising. According to my sources all of the other applicants for this job have very promising potential jobs, too.

As for my most recent interview, I did get the email from the principal. They must have sent it via e-pony express because it took 3 days to get to me. Following that email was one from the head of the science department saying how happy she is that I accepted the position, etc. So, I think I all but officially have the job. I haven't signed any paperwork yet so I won't say I have a job, but it looks really good.

Now what I have to do is pass the TExES math/physics test on June 10. I've been studying, but I still have a bit to go in my review. I'm not too worried about it; just a little. I haven't done this stuff in 6 years so it's a little rusty, but it's coming back to me. I really don't want to fail the test the first time I take it. I understand many people have to take these tests multiple times to pass, but I just think that would look bad.

I've been applying for summer jobs, too. I've applied to 3 retail places in the past 2 days. Each of them have used the same online application system which has a survey at the end asking questions about how you feel about things, what kind of worker you are, do you like people, etc. Not bad, except the first 2 places each had 185 questions in their survey. The same 185 questions. Ugh. The third place was a little better in that it only had 100 of the same 185 questions. I wish it was more like the teacher survey I took. I took it for one of the school districts I applied to, and when another asked me to take it the site knew I had already taken it and allowed me to send my scores to this new district. Easy. It's like they were using this crazy thing called technology to reduce the amount of work we have to do. That's what it's for, right?

So you're probably wondering how my interview went this morning. It went well. So well that I'll skip over the interview and start with what happened after the interview.

Twenty minutes after I left the school the principal called (one of the 5 people in the interview) and told me that they felt I would be a good fit for the job and if I was willing to cancel any pending interviews I had then they would cancel their remaining interviews for this job.

Wha?!?!?!

I quickly agreed since I felt like this was a place I wanted to work. So, I'll be getting an email from the principal stating what we talked about and I'll respond with my agreement. It sounds to me like it's the next best thing to a contract. If all goes as planned I'll be teaching upper level physics as well as AP Physics B & C. Yowzers! That's going to be a tough first year!

I was stopped by a student in the hallway and told, "I heard a rumor that you're going to be our physics teacher next year." I could only reply, "I've heard the same rumor, but they're not telling me anything." This is a kid who will be taking physics next year, and she seems hopeful that I'll be their teacher. I've got the kids on my side, now I just need the administration to hop on the bandwagon.

In other news, the school year is over for me. Now I need to get a summer job.

Late last night I got a call from a nearby school inviting me to interview on Friday for a physics position. I'll get a call soon informing me of the time of the interview.

I still haven't heard anything from my other interviews. I'm supposed to be hearing something this week or next from both of them, if the timetables I was told are accurate. Oddly enough, I hear that the students where I sub think I've been given the physics job. I wonder if they know something I don't.

During a slow class a couple of students were asking me if I knew other subs at the school. I have met a couple, but don't know them. They told me that one was mean, and another looks like a chipmunk. So I asked them what they say about me in other classes. The student replied, not defensively so I'm inclined to believe him, that there are two subs they don't talk about. They don't talk about me because "you're cool," and they don't talk about another guy because "he's a joke of a sub." I must be doing something right since I'm not a joke of a sub and am still cool.


In other news, I discovered a student in my class ditched class today when she had a quiz to take. She came into the room as the starting bell rang and said she had been in the office during lunch and they requested that I give her a pass so she could go back to the office. I told her she had a quiz to take, and gave her the pass thinking (silly me) that she would finish her office business and come back to take the quiz. I never saw her again. After school I went to the office and asked about her. She finished there with about half the period left and then apparently ditched the rest of the day. I left this info in my note to the teacher. Hopefully her teacher gives her a zero for the quiz. I know I would.

While the office workers were looking through the sign-in sheets and passes to find when the girl had come and gone a teacher I'm friendly with came in. After pleasantries I mentioned what was going on since she was waiting for the office people to finish. She commented about how diligent I was. Diligent? I figured it was my responsibility to do this. Maybe other subs wouldn't bother.

For the past few weeks I've been seeing one particular kid in a lot of the classes I've been subbing. He has an interest in physics and seems to be a pretty sharp kid. The physics teacher mentioned him to me one time as the kid who wants to know why the electrons follow the path of least resistance rather than the other path. You may think, "Duh, it's the path of least resistance." Well, he's the type that would want to know how the electrons know that. My kind of kid.

He knows I have a degree in physics so he's been asking me all sorts of questions; the problem is we only have a few minutes between classes to talk about things. It's hard to explain black hole evaporation through quantum tunneling, radiating properties of matter in the accretion disks of black holes, properties of quasars, wave-particle duality, and what makes a supernova go bang in just 3 minutes a day. After we talk I usually get a flash of insight, "Ah, I should have told him about Cherenkov radiation as an example of the speed of light changing depending on the medium!"

I hear you, don't think that I don't. You're thinking, "Cherenkov, wasn't he the guy in Star Trek who was looking for the nuclear wessels?"

It's challenging to try to remember my physics, bring it down to a high school level, and present it all in a few minutes. It sure is fun, though.

My interview with the principal today was short, but I think I did ok. He asked me some of the same questions I had been asked last time so I knew the answers to those. He also asked me a lot about how I would work with failing or ESL kids. Failing kids I had ideas about. ESL kids I had no clue about. I made some stuff up and said I'd utilize resources the school made available to me. We'll see how that went.

He said they're interviewing everyone for every position over the next 2 weeks and that they'd get back to me.

At one point the principal told me that they have a high failure rate in math of one quarter. So 20% of the students are failing math. You don't say....

In other news, I encountered no traffic on my way to work this morning, and had the best Burger King experience I've ever had today. I didn't have to repeat myself once, my order was correct the first time, and the workers were polite and friendly. Hmmm....

Tuesday I was approached by the head of the science department where I am subbing and asked if I would teach another physics class so she could observe me since I was only observed by the principal before. Of course, I said yes. I took this to be good news because my competition had been observed the day before. I figure if he was impressive then they wouldn't ask me to do a second observation. So Wednesday I am observed teaching one physics class. I think I did well. I think there are things I could have done better, but I didn't do anything poorly. We'll see how that turns out. I haven't heard anything yet.

I just got a call from the public school I interviewed with a month ago. They want me to come in for an interview with the principal on Monday. You'll recall that last time I interviewed with a couple of deans. I'm not sure if anyone from the math department will be involved in this interview or not. Hopefully I won't have to do a third interview just to get someone from the math department there. As always, we'll see.

While showing a video today I had one senior girl who had her back to the TV, her knitting out, and was talking non-stop to her friend. I think if she shut her mouth for too long her head might explode from the pent up conversation energy. Several times I told her to be quiet to no avail. Finally, I told her that she needs to be quiet because other people are trying to watch the video, not listening to her talk. She looked around and seemed surprised that everyone but her and her friend were actually watching the video. Imagine that! She was quiet after that, though.

I think things went well today. The lab Headmaster was observing went fine. The kids were a little adventurous with hooking wires to the batteries so I got to show some guidance, but they were a good group and I didn't have any problems. He left when the kids finished their lab and started their homework so he missed playing with the Van DeGraff generator (static electricity machine, for those who have forgotten) at the end of class. It was a shockingly good time.

Go ahead and groan; that one deserves it.

I've been teaching (yes, teaching) math all week. I've enjoyed it. Teaching the same class for multiple consecutive days is a new experience. I've actually been giving them quizzes on stuff I've taught them. That's cool. There have been quite a range of grades, from the 40's up to perfect quizzes, so not everyone is understanding what I'm teaching, but most are. One of the other math teachers said they saw several students sitting after school outside the math classroom with their math books out and asked how the sub was doing. The students all said that I was teaching them everything they need to know. That's good enough for me. When I was sitting watching the kids take a quiz on material I taught it seemed surreal that I could be a teacher. But, when I'm up in front of the students it feels natural. An interesting week.

Today, I managed to get behind in the schedule the teacher set for me. There were short classes today, and the quiz the teacher made took much longer than she anticipated so I didn't get any teaching done. I cancelled the homework for tonight (no complaints heard) and talked to the other math teachers to see what to do about it. They weren't concerned. They're teaching this class tomorrow (more on that in a bit) so they'll just teach what I didn't get to today.

Tomorrow I'm teaching physics. Well, I'm showing a video to most of the classes, but in two of the classes I'm running a lab. During some part of the lab classes (not sure when) I'll be observed by someone (not sure who) so they can see if I'll be a good teacher or not. I hear Monday my competition is going to be teaching the physics class for their observation.
Hopefully this means I'll hear one way or the other soon about this job.

Not much has been happening lately. Lots of subbing, but nothing of interest to report.

We recently sold our VW (sorry, Shawn) and bought a new-to-us F150. The day after we bought it I encountered the truck owners curse. Have you ever seen the bumper sticker "Yes, this is my truck. No, I will not help you move."? How true. On this day I was helping my bro-in-law haul bricks and sand for a new brick-walk in their backyard. Now it's not like they roped me into it. We bought the truck to use as a truck so I was happy to get to try it out as such. Since we bought it as a truck we have since removed the ridiculous lid that covered the bed; I wanted a truck, not a trunk. Anyway, my truck was loaded up with (we calculated later) ~3000 lbs of bricks and sand for the drive home from the hardware store.


Note the difference in the vertical positions of the front wheel and rear wheel. Yeah, those are supposed to have the same gap for the wheel well. You're probably thinking "3000 lbs! What were you thinking? Don't you know that's a half-ton truck?" Yeah, well, I thought a half-ton truck was referring to it's weight, and I knew this truck weighs at least 4000 lbs so I figured it was a 2 ton truck. Silly me thought trucks like the S-10 were half-ton trucks. No, I don't know how much an S-10 weighs; I was just guessing. Recently I learned that the half-ton term refers to how much it can carry, not how much it weighs. Oops. Now I know... and knowing is half the battle.

Yesterday I applied online for a math position in the Crowley school district (south of Ft. Worth). More to come....

Today I had an interview at the school I've been subbing at. Headmaster, who you may remember from my earlier interview for a long term sub position, interviewed me for either a high school physics or 6th grade math position. There wasn't a lot to talk about since I know about the school and he knows about me, but he wants me to teach a physics class so someone (department head, physics teacher, him? We'll see) can see how I would do as a physics teacher. That's fine. I think I did well teaching the math class, and because of that I can make adjustments so I'll do even better when I teach the physics class. He wants to make a decision on the physics job by May 1. That's a lot sooner than I was expecting. I may have to make a decision about where to live much earlier than I was expecting. As always, we'll see....